Time to Open Up!
By Kimberly Smith

Once again, I’m back to give you a piece of my mind—but this time it’s on a much more personal level.  Many things have happened since our last publication and I’d like to discuss one in particular that has hit our senior editor and founder, Robert Denson III, well…pretty darn hard.

Recently, his family has suffered the loss of his father—a true inspiration to many of us that have been graciously greeted by the open arms of the Sunpiper family.  Although I have never met his father personally, his wisdom and outstanding character has been inherited by his son; the same man that has so generously laid down this solid foundation for our challenged youth to “speak out” via Sunpiper Press.

I have learned over the last month that there are some things in this world that need no explanation.  This is very hard for me to accept (since I question everything), but it’s a truth nonetheless.

I’ve always been a person who searched for answers. 
I’ve always been a person who expected answers. 
And I’ve always been that kind of person who demanded answers.          

But I think, somehow, I have come to a full circle in my own life through these recent circumstances.  I’m not really sure when or where this miraculous epiphany had taken place--but it did.  I have learned that sharing in someone else’s pain is much different than wallowing in your own.  It takes on a whole new perspective and opens up your heart in a way that you never knew existed.          

I have been taught through the eyes of another--a lesson that most of us know--yet refuse to fully acknowledge.  It is a lesson filled with compassion and understanding, but most of all, love.  It’s easy to dump what you’re thinking or feeling on someone else and expect them to soak it in the same way you see it, but in reality—that’s not always how it works.         

Let me give you an example:          

You hurt your ankle when you slip on a muddy section of the sidewalk.  You feel the throbbing pain in your swelling foot--but your friend doesn’t.  They politely help you into the car, but brush off the severity of your ailment because it doesn’t “directly” affect them.           

Two weeks later, the same friend slips and ends up hurting their own ankle.  Since you know how it feels—you rush to their side and help them in any way that you can.  You are familiar with the same excruciating pain that they now have, so therefore, you find yourself feeling more sympathetic than how they acted towards you.        

It’s exactly the same when someone discovers that they have an illness.          

Most likely, that individual may not have even bothered to jump in and join the fight against breast cancer until they—or someone close to them—are diagnosed with the deadly disease.  It’s not that we mean to be insensitive; it’s just that if we aren’t smacked right in the face with it, we generally allow other things to dominate our precious time.          

I have personally taken a vow to see past my “assumption” of how someone feels and try to truly empathize instead.  It won’t be easy.  Change never is.  But I do feel that I have come along way in a fairly short period of time.           

I still have my father in my life and even though he hasn’t always been there for me, I’m taking the high road on this one and making the choice to be there for him.  Life is a loaded smorgasbord of choices and every day we’re faced with too many to count.  But if you want my advice (and you may not)--take your time to make them.            

What you may not know is that you might just touch someone’s life in a profound way without even realizing it.  Though we have suffered a tremendous loss, I have personally rediscovered what it really means to be a true friend.            

Sure, I had the basics intact, but had undeniably forgotten about its purest essence.  It had become quite apparent to me that somewhere down the line, I had broken free from who I used to be and was faced with who I had become.  I know now that my positive involvement in someone’s life can help to heal their pain--but only if I choose to be there for them.            

I urge you to help out those that need you. 
You’re already aware of who they are!            

They’re anxiously waiting to hear your voice, feel the warmth of your loving embrace, or maybe it would just help to know that you care.  A few kind words can lift even the most sagging spirit.  You might be pleasantly surprised by how good it feels to open up and help out someone else!